“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
—Stephen Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
We share a lot of great information here on the Associated Audiologists blog about hearing health and how to hear your best. But even those with excellent hearing can struggle with listening well. We’ve put together a few tips for becoming an expert listener and communicating clearly with those around you.
Step 1: Remove distractions.
Paying attention to a conversation is hard enough when it’s just two people in a quiet room. Add in background noise, cell phone alerts, interrupting children and other sounds and you have a recipe for distraction!
However, there are things you can do to help. Try to limit background noises by turning off the TV or radio. Put away your phone to give the person your full attention. If you know someone needs to have a serious conversation with you, choose a time and place where you will not be interrupted and can be truly present with them.
Step 2: Use active listening skills.
“Active listening” describes the practice of using your whole self to engage with someone. Turn your body towards the speaker and make eye contact if possible. Acknowledge what they’re saying by nodding, repeating back short phrases of what they say, or responding with follow-up questions.
Watch communication coach Alex Lyon explain active listening in-depth.
Active listening demonstrates empathy toward the other person and shows that you value and care about what they have to say.
Step 3: Focus on their body language along with their words.
You may have heard that up to 80% of communication is nonverbal, meaning that our body language and tone/volume of our voice contribute even more toward someone’s understanding than the actual words we say. While this balance varies, it is important to tune in to both your own physical cues and your conversation partner’s to successfully understand one another.
Step 4: Be honest if you miss something.
We’ve all had those moments where, like a puppy distracted by a squirrel, we lose the thread of what someone else is saying. When that happens, be honest. You can say something like, “I’m sorry, I missed that last part, what did you say?”
And for those of us with hearing loss, don’t be afraid to ask the person to turn towards you, slow down, or repeat something you couldn’t hear. You can request closed captions on the TV or written instead of verbal instructions. You deserve to be part of the group, and in most cases, your friends, family and colleagues can accommodate you quite easily.
Step 5: Give the person time and space to speak.
Sometimes, we get so caught up in thinking about what we will say in response – or remembering a time when we were in a similar situation – that we interrupt or talk over our conversation partner. Try to stay focused on them while they’re speaking and allow extra time for people who may be slower to process what you’ve said to them to answer you. Each person’s voice matters!
Here’s to good hearing AND good listening!
If you’re already hearing your best, now is a good time to polish up your listening skills. And if you need support with your hearing, you can always make an appointment with one of our audiologists to get you on the road to better hearing.
